oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
