she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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