well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
