Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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