$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
