Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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