I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
