she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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