so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
