I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
