Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
