So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
