Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
