I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Farmville is her only friend.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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