the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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