It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
