At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
