I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
