The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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