i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
