btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
