so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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