I feel like abortions should bother me more
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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