I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
pray to the hookup gods
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
