good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
