maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
