i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
