Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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