Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
