The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
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