I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
