Already got asked if we're dating
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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