Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
