no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
