Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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