Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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