dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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