so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
