just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
