how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
