I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
