Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
