White coat. Heels.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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