You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
