Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
