when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
