im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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