I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
third nipple confirmed
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
