Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
