i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
