I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
