Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
