Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
